Strorry

Been lacking on posts. I've just been working a lot lately. On a straw necklace/noose. You'll always have a straw around, and once you've done enough sucking, you can end it strawll. And I haven't worked out all the kinks yet, but I'm pretty sure you can only use it to drink bleach.

I'm As Straw As The Straw That You Straw Down Your Straw

Going on a date? Two straws one cup is nice, but trying kicking it up to four, two for each of you. Some waiters might not be able to handle it. Other exponents can be used with your straw count. Get crazy straw with it, go to the twelfth power.

Clean Your Necks

I heard if you got a nasty neck vampires put a straw through your jugular so they don't gotta kiss it. That's bad news for everybody. Some straws have necks. If you think about it, all straws are a neck. Are there vampire straws that suck the suck out of mortal straws? Food for strawt.

Die You Speciesist Bastard

Patronizing human child scum

STOP THE GUNKY STRAWS

We have to work together to end the horror

Spicy Sundays Part I

It's always nice to have a straw for that hard to reach salsa.

Sprawns and Stoons

Yeah, this cat is thinking the same thing I've been thinking since the first time I went to Dairy Queen, "is this spoon supposed to be a straw? why the fuck is it square? where is all this plastic going?"

If you're serious about drinking food, choose metal.

They Don't Know How To Fail, That's Why I Love Them

Are you gonna suck it or are you just gonna take a picture and add a caption before submitting it to a blog? Take into very deep consideration how many times you'll have to say that in your life.

Straws For Evil

This beverage is trying to suck this man's brain out through his nose.

Graveyard

Instead of mixing stuff in a cup, mix it in your mouth.

Submit Shit

This blog does not condone PBR. Or Alcohol. Or humans.

Tall Man, Big Straw